I woke up this morning, being my 43 Birthday feeling a little sorry for myself. There were things that have changed in my life that I have been having a hard time with lately and being “one more year closer to death” as I always say, was not making me want to jump up and yell “Happy Birthday to Me!!!”
For one, a Gray streak now runs through my hair where my once red hair gleamed
My eyes were full of life and are now a little droopy and are showing the years with the bags, dark circles and a few little wrinkles… OK, maybe more than a few
With the pressure of my daily life for the last 2 years I have added on some extra baggage in all areas of my once not to bad body (picture was 2 years ago)…not in one spot, not in two but EVERYWHERE! at least I am proportioned…
Where there once was muscle from years and years of being a jock (that's me 4th in from the right) there is now bad hips, bad knees and boobs that no longer can be contained in a sports bra without slipping out and knocking me in the head….
I will never again get that morning call from My Mom & Moe wishing me a Happy Birthday…..something I never dreamed I would live without
My babies are no longer babies and the special hugs and cuddles are slowly fading…..
I have been married for 19 years now and can barely remember my husband and I looking like this…..is this real?
But then I turned on Facebook and twitter this morning and was reading all my Birthday messages from Old friends, new friends, business associates and my family members and something happened…..Like the Grinch my heart suddenly grew 3 sizes…..and I had a look on my face like this…
And I realized…
- My gray streak in my hair was a sign of years and years of learning and loving and being on this beautiful earth and I am alive and healthy…. ( and there is a thing called hair dye….halleluiah!)
- My eyes that are puffy and droopy and showing the tell tale signs of aging are no longer naive and insecure but are now full of wisdom and have seen enough in my 43 years to give me the strength to be my own person.
- My weight gain that creeps up on me is not from laziness but from having a job that I love that keeps me busy, that consumes my days…. but how many of you can say you are living your dream, working at something everyday that fulfills you….
- My sore muscles and joints are a sign….telling me I have been living a full life and not missing a step along the way
- My Mom & Moe are no longer here but I have grown into a 43 year old woman who has overcome many things in my life from the wisdom they gave my and the lessons they taught me and even though that phone call never comes….I still hear them….I still feel them…They are still here
- My babies are growing but with that is a feeling of accomplishment, each day is new and each day they are growing into the person I am shaping them to be….my babies will always be my babies
- My wedding dress may no longer fit and the white has faded but my husband loves me still today and I believe loves me more then on the 23 of January 19 years ago….yes we no longer look the same but we are growing old together and I am grateful for him everyday
Last but not least, I have great friends and family who love me and who have helped shape who I am today….I love you all!!