What my Mother gave to me

 

Today is Mothers Day, and being a Mother myself , I woke up this morning with the excitement of what this day was going to bring. A few of my children are still young and with this brings all the little drawings and hand made gifts they have been preparing for the last week or so. They cannot contain their excitement at the thought of me seeing what they have created for me and in return I get to see their sweet faces filled with love.

After ceremony of opening my gifts, my husband went down street and came back with a morning Latte for me and then took the kids out to breakfast, leaving me to drink my coffee and read my magazines in the quiet of the house hearing nothing but the birds singing in my ear through the window. I did not however read my magazines but instead found myself wanting to pick up the phone and call my own Mother like I had always done. We would chat about everything and everybody and I would feel fulfilled. Sadly, this was not to be as my Mother passed away 10 years ago at the age of 62 from Ovarian Cancer. I did not feel sorry for myself, I did not shed a tear, but instead I spent the time reflecting on what she gave to me.

• My Mother gave me Life: she gave me life at a time when her own life was difficult. When she should have been worried about having another mouth to feed but instead she said I gave her such joy and fulfillment at such a pivotal time in her life.

 

• My Mother gave me Love: my Mother, who was a mother of 4 and a single Mother for the most part of my first 7 years, who worked all day to just get by would never fall short in the love department. She loved us unconditionally, even when I knew she was hurting inside.

• My Mother gave me my red hair: No, my mother may not have had my red hair but it came from her family genes and I am incredibly proud of that. I never liked my hair as a kid, I wanted straight beautiful blond…or brown hair but anything but red hair! She would always tell me not t touch my hair, that I was special because of it…it made me who I am, it made me stand out in the crowd. I never did touch my hair, although now I need to fix the grey a little but she was right, It does make me who I am…can any one of you imagine me without it?

 

• My Mother gave and and gave: My mother may not have been able to afford all of the '”brand” name items the other kids were wearing in school but she would go out and try to find us a “like” brand of the same item to make us feel a part of the crowd. I do remember us complaining about this at the time…”These are not real Cougar Boots Mom!! and her saying “they are the same!” it will be OK. I remember asking her why she didn’t wear all the newer style clothes that my friends mothers wore and her saying “Because I like my clothes and they still look good. This haunts me to this day…. as I now Know she spent every extra penny she had putting u in those “almost” cool clothes and because of that she did without….

 

• My Mother gave me strength: My mother gave me strength and courage when I was having trouble in school. She was there for me when I was just becoming a young woman and was having trouble with adjusting to myself….she was so strong when I know I could have broke her. She was there through the tears of broken hearts and she would always say there is someone out there for you Sonya, this is just your journey to him……she was so right. She was there when I could not conceive a child after years of trying and she was there for the joyous news of my first pregnancy….and picked me up after the loss of it.

 

• My Mother gave me my Children: No, she did not give me my children physically but inside of each of my children is a piece of her that I see every day…..

With Emma I see my Mothers love in the way that she can not stand to upset anyone purposely. It eats her up if she knows she has. I also see a lot of my troublesome self in Emma and in return I am dealing with the same things she did with me….she gave me the strength to be able to do this.

 

I was pregnant with Gracie when my Mother was being taken from this world. My mother never saw her but she did feel her in my tummy in the last few weeks she was with us. Mom was leaving this world and Gracie was coming……..can it be just a coincidence they look so much alike? I get to see my mothers face in Gracie each and every day.

My Mother never got to meet her grandson but she knew how much I wanted him and I truly think she sent him to me. This boy gives me so much love….and yes a little heartache LOL but she would not let me off that easy.

 

• My Mother gave me a Family: My Mother gave me 2 big brothers and a sister and when we were young this was not such a good thing…fight, fight, fight but in the end, when she left us, she left us with each other. We are a family, we are her family, we are her……and I thank her every day for giving them to me.

In closing I want to leave you with something she wrote about a perfect day for her. This poem she wrote is so simple, its not about winning the lottery or spending the day in Paris its about the simple things in her life that make her who she was…..A daughter, a sister, a wife, a Mother and a Grandmother …enjoy

A Perfect Day…

There would be warm sun on my face all day & just enough breeze to bring the sweet smell of my flowers to my nose or the fragrance of my freshly washed laundry blowing & flipping on the clothes line.

I would be at home amongst all the personal treasures of my days here on this beautiful earth.

I would have prepared in my head all the meals for the day and be satisfied that they will be as imagined & good.

I would sit out from time to time with a book, though probably not read but instead listen to the voices, inside of the people whom I love, whose love in turn sustains me & warms me past knowing.

I would listen to all the hustle & noise around me of life going on, being lived as God intended and every now & then a little chorus of birds & chipmunks & crickets would punctuate the message of Peace & Hope & Home.

I would water my flowers & smell them & if I’m really to have a complete & perfect day, over the air or around the corner will come the words that sooth my soul....

”Hi Mom, Hi Nan or Hi Bette....that’s me, just me.....

Written by Bette McClelland-Thompson (Mom)